HUMOUR

Presents 1,000 unforgettable senior moments in history, with embarrassing and true stories of major mental lapses and famous acts of forgetfulness: President Carter leaving the codes for nuclear missile strike in a suit sent to the dry-cleaners; Ralph Waldo Emerson forgetting Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's name at Longfellow's funeral; and so on.

Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals ? does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies. Written (for real) by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl.

ISBN: 9780316154666

Consider the humble Zimmer. There's no doubt most of us will end up with one, and yet no one has ever thought to customise it to fit our individual needs. Until now. Pimp My Zimmer is a collection of Zimmers by Bill Fallover, from the ancient Stone Age Zimmers of our primeval forefathers to the glamorous Disco Zimmer to the ever-practical Barbie Zimmer, complete with its own rotisserie stick. There is a customised Zimmer for every occasion in this hilarious and strangely attractive guide. Growing old and hopelessly infirm has never seemed so appealing ...

ISBN: 9781847442567

"Kick the Bucket and Swing the Cat" takes a humorous tour through the fascinating, sometimes tragic, and often surprising history of the English language and its etymology. Author, humorist and word-sleuth Alex Games uncovers the trends, innovations and scandals that have shaped the meanings of our most popular words and expressions, from Chaucer to Internet jargon and Ancient Greek to American slang. Who was the original Jack the Lad, Gordon Bennett or Bloody Mary? Where do dodgy geezers and hooligans come from? What are skeldering, dithering and sabre-rattling? This amusing but rigorously researched account of English words and their origins combines the findings of the major BBC TV series and the nationwide Wordhunt, and is an entertaining treasure trove for English-language lovers everywhere.

ISBN: 9781846076107

The most enduringly popular poetical verse form in the English language is very much alive and well. This monster volume of 2,000 limericks ranges from clean to (moderately) filthy, all guaranteed to make you laugh! It contains limericks that are historical, geographical, whimsical, clerical, medical and many more. This giant collection includes limericks by such names as Edward Lear, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, William Shakespeare, H.G. Wells, John Betjeman, Ogden Nash, Spike Milligan, and others. As well as a treasure trove of completely new and original verse, generated specially for this volume. You'll find plenty of modern gems - limericks relevant to today's world, such as computers, mobile phones, foreign travel, traffic congestion, unfair taxation, the cult of celebrity, overpaid sports players, environmental issues.Plus 'old favourites' in every category you can think of, including: Limerick limericks, Family, Children's limericks (for children and by children), Food and Drink, Sporty, Clever (including tongue twisters), Silly, Arty, Animal, Showbiz (including theatre, film and TV), Musical, Medical, Historical, Miscellaneous (including royalty, travel, occupations, college, crime, fashion, politics, celebrity, garden and religion), Memorial, Naughty, and Naughtier.

ISBN: 9781845296810

Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.

Britain has been blessed with many fine poets; Simon Drew isn't one of them. It is tempting to call this a book of doggerel, but maybe that's aiming a little high. This book makes a Co-Op receipt seem intellectual. However, there are many collectors of Drew's work (some of them locked up) who will welcome a collection of all the best verses. This book will be left lying around the best homes with the aim of impressing odd people and passing hyenas.